David Jett Explains Stephanie Weir
(a true crime story)
Full disclosure: I don’t explain Stephanie Weir. At all. Some things you just can’t explain without firsthand knowledge and even then, you might be stumped as to why someone would commit a particular crime. I can tell you that Stephanie Weir was arrested a little over a year ago, a dog was involved, and a couple of years prior to that, we worked in the same office. I’m about to let the story of Stephanie Weir off the leash, so to speak.
Stephanie and I worked for the same company for a couple of years. We never worked in the same department, and I never had any work-related interactions with her. In the entire time we were both there, I might have spoken to her a cumulative time of around 15 minutes. It was mostly saying “hi” as we passed each other in the hallway. One time she spoke to me about knowing the owners of a food truck that was coming out. I did see her speak with other workers on occasion. That was about it.
Stephanie always seemed a little off to me, but I could never figure out why. At work she was very enthusiastic about fun office dress up days and participating in any charity event the company held.
Outside of the office, she seemed to be a social butterfly, often attending events and parties around the city. She may have been friends with people in the media as she was always being interviewed for one thing or another.
I’m not 100% sure on this one, but I recall hearing that her mother was affluent. I do know that for a time she dated an older man who constantly took her on trips around and outside of the country. I considered her very pretty and she was easily in the top 1% as far as work fashion. There were rumors that she had had an affair (affairs?) with a person (persons?) at work, but I never had that confirmed to me and I never asked about it. She was released from her job somewhere around the time covid first hit and I understood it to be for job performance reasons, although, again, that was never confirmed to me and I never really asked. I think it was a lay off due to covid but only the underperformers actually got “laid off.”
I could never figure out why I thought she was a little off. Maybe she was just awkward. Maybe she was flat out dumb. Maybe she was just quirky. I could never put my finger on it, and maybe I was being too judgmental. Judgmental about what, I couldn’t fucking tell you.
Approximately a year after she was released from her job, she was arrested. I was working when a co-worker, who never knew her, came into my office. She asked me if I knew Stephanie and that she had been arrested. My first thought was that it may have been some kind of prostitution adjacent situation or that her and her older boyfriend scammed some people out of money. I couldn’t have been more wrong and I gotta say, I never saw this coming.
Here is the report from WREG News Channel 3:
A Collierville woman is facing multiple charges after she allegedly downloaded child pornography and recorded her dog performing sexual acts on her, Memphis Police say. According to reports, on May 18, MPD received a complaint from the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children involving a woman later identified as 33-year-old Stephanie Weir.
NCMEC told officials that Weir had child pornography in an online cloud account. A search warrant was issued, and the following content was found:
3 video files showing children in sex acts with adults
5 image files of nude children posing in a sexual manner
1 video file of Weir having her pet dog perform a sex act on her
Tuesday, Weir was taken into custody, where police say she gave a confession. She reportedly told officers that she did the following:
Used her phone to find child porn in social media group messages
Stored child porn and videos in her cloud account
Used her phone to take a nude picture of a toddler and sent it to another person for sexual gratification
Recorded her dog performing sex acts on her
Stephanie Weir is being charged with Sexual Exploitation of a Minor, Criminal Offense Against Animals, Especially Aggravated Exploitation of a Minor, and Aggravated Unlawful Photographing of a Minor.
Holy shit! The scary part is that after she had been fired from her job where I worked, she picked up jobs as a nanny.
As far as I know, her case has not come to trial yet and she is out on bond. Let’s assume for the rest of this article that she is guilty of the charges. And she did confess to these crimes, unless she was coerced into it, which happens, but c’mon on. But to cover any legal bases, just put the word allegedly in front of anything I type.
I’m going back to one of my original assessments of her, that she was incredibly fucking dumb. First, who the hell stores child porn IN THE CLOUD?? Maybe they all do. I don’t know. Anyone into child porn is obviously very messed up and already not making good decisions. Second, I guess she hasn’t watched any crime docs or tv shows or she would know not to confess to anything until a lawyer is present. Again, I’m going with she’s very fucking dumb.
And then we get to the last confession. She recorded her dog performing sex on her. None of the news reports stated what sex acts so we don’t know if it was just oral or if it was penetration. Or if the dog was any good or was just all about his own needs like every other dog.
Once this story hit the local media, it blew up all over social media and was not even limited to this country. This shit went everywhere.
The first two headlines mention a sex act with her dog. Of course, the Star says “hold my beer” and uses the term “bonking” which makes it sound like she had sex with Scooby Doo. Speaking of which, last Halloween, a woman at work came dressed in a Scooby Doo bodysuit costume. When I saw her, I said, “cool, you came dressed as Stephanie Weir’s boyfriend.”
HOT OR NOT??? WT the actual F. Someone was actually doing a Zuckerberg on her. Ok, before all of this came out, I thought she was hot. In a strictly superficial way. Honestly, with my past history of having affairs with fucked up women at places I’ve worked, ( see my article on Red Flags) I’m surprised I’m not the guy at work who may or may not have had an affair with her. (I’m not.)
The Guess Who should come out with a remix of their biggest hit. “American Woman, stay away from me. American Woman, let that dog be.” And now we hear from the dog’s groomer.
I don’t know when she’s going to trial. She’s got a high-powered attorney, maybe paid for by her mom. I know someone in the legal area who did a check and all she could find out was that she is out on bond. Unless her lawyer is really, really good, or she didn’t actually do any of this, she is going to spend time in jail. And as she said in a newspaper interview when she got laid off during covid for the company I work at, “I’m just kind of in limbo,” she said. “I hope this doesn’t last too long.”
BONUS CONTENT!!!
In the early 80’s, there was a Memphis band called Dog Police which put out a low-budget video for their song “Dog Police.” The video made it to M-TV on a show called Basement Tapes which featured music videos from unsigned bands. Here’s the video:
And here’s a video detailing the strange journey of Dog Police.
Someone should have brought these Dog Police fucks out of retirement to deal with Stephanie Weir, whether she was hot or not.