David Jett Explains Break Dancing
B-Girl Raygun 2: Electric Boogaloo.
The 2014 documentary Electric Boogaloo: The Wild, Untold Story of Cannon Films (available on Prime Video as of this writing) tells the story of Israeli cousins Menahem Golen and Yoram Globus whose love for cinema was undone by their total lack of being good at it. Their go-to game plan was to come up with a movie name, create a poster, and then use the poster, along with their unbridled enthusiasm, to convince international investors to buy a film that had not yet been shot. Often, they would secure the acting services of a once big-name Hollywood actor who wasn’t getting work anymore. And if you were an actress in one of their b-movies, you were probably getting naked. A lot. Their action and sex infused movies included American Ninja, Bolero (which feature a very naked Bo Derek,) The Delta Force, Lady Chatterley’s Lover, Masters of the Universe, and The Last American Virgin (which was an American remake of their Israeli film Lemon Popsicle, both of which predated the teen sex comedy Porky’s, and both of which were much darker in story.) And, of course, Breakin’, a movie that introduced a lot of people to break dancing.
Cannon somehow got the rights to produce the sequel to the Charles Bronson revenge flick Death Wish. In the original, Bronson plays an architect who loses his shit when criminals break into his home, murder his wife, and rape his daughter. Good times. He goes on an anger-fueled vigilante killing spree, and audiences, especially at drive-ins, cheered him on as he shot the fuck out of lowlifes and thugs. As exploitative as this movie sounds, Cannon’s Death Wish 2 seemed to exact its vengeance on anyone in the theater with any semblance of good taste. DW2 is one of the most exploitative movies ever, making I Spit On Your Grave look like a Merchant-Ivory production.
In this bleak sequel, and try to keep up with me here, Bronson’s daughter Carol is now in a mental institution following the trauma of her rape in the first movie. Bronson’s character is back to being an architect. His friend Paul goes to pick up the daughter from the nuthouse to take her to the fair. They get attacked by a gang of thugs named Nirvana, Punkcut, Stomper and Cutter (subtle.) The gang later ends up at Paul’s house where they take turns raping his housekeeper. They kidnap Carol, move her to a secondary location (as Norm Macdonald might say) where she gets raped again as she does a version of planking and they rip her top open to expose her breasts (to themselves and the movie audience.) She tries to escape and ends up flinging herself out of a window, falls on an iron fence and impales herself. And then Bronson eventually kills everyone to the delight of any sicko who has made it this far into the film.
One of Cannon’s more notable films was 1984’s Breakin’, the story of a troupe of young break dancers and the hardship and ridicule they endured to practice their art. Special K (not sure if she’s named after the cereal or the drug) teams up with Ozone and Turbo to enter a regular dance competition. Not only do they win, but they also get a standing ovation from the judges who miraculously have opened their minds to a new dance style. This is, in fact, a movie. If Osmosis and Super Sonic and Lucky Charms (or whatever the hell their names were) competed in the Summer 2024 Paris Olympics, they may have earned zero points like B-Girl Raygun.
The reason Breakin’ was notable has nothing to do with the actual quality of the film and everything to do with the fact that it was successful enough to warrant a sequel with the ridiculous title Breakin’ 2: Electric Boogalo. (a young Ice T had a role in the original Breakin’ and was billed as “Rap Talker,” which shows that the term rapper was not yet common, or the people making the film were idiots. Probably both.)
The simple explanation for break dancing is: ya know, that thing where a dude in a tracksuit throws some cardboard on the ground and spins around on his head. The longer explanation is: break dancing is a style created and popularized by African Americans and Latinos in New York City in the early 70’s (like every dance created since the Fox Trot.) It’s a combination of intricate moves, speed, creativity, gymnastics, and fun. The “break” part of it comes from the term used to describe dj’s mixing records to provide a continuous beat. It was the club before the club became the club.
It’s obvious that if break dancing were to be an Olympic sport, it should be represented by a white girl from Australia. (she got zero points from the judges, so no Electric Boogaloo for her.)
Simone Biles. LeBron James. Katie Ledecky. The 2024 Summer Olympics in Paris saw the world tune in to cheer their favorite athletes as they created viral moments that will be cherished by sports fans…oh, fuck it, let’s talk about that goofy performance by Australia’s Rachel Gunn, known as Ray-Girl BBGun. Hold on. Correction. B-Girl Raygun. (B-Girl Raygun was my favorite member of The Cramps.)
Rachel Gunn, who tried her hand (glide) at jazz, tap and ballroom dancing, was encouraged by her breakdancing b-boy boyfriend to give it a shot. (Now you know who to blame.) Rachel competed and placed in numerous Australian breakdancing competitions before taking a break to complete her PhD thesis Deterritorializing Gender in Sydney's Breakdancing Scene: A B-girl's Experience of B-boying. I know every PhD thesis ever written has a title that sounds like the biggest load of horseshit you’ve ever heard, but this one has so many stupid combinations of words that I’m not convinced her Olympic performance was not her just having a stroke.
There have been so many internet memes about her performance. “Me getting up in the morning” “me not wanting to go to work” “me having sex with someone who has lied to me so I’m gonna stick it in there but I’m not putting any work into it.” (that last example was oddly specific.)
Here’s a Sky News Australia report on B-Fab VaJayJay’s performance at the Olympics. It starts by showing a great break dancing performance by the guy who lost his Olympic shot to Rachel Gunn. And then this Sky News anchor just fucking drags Gunn through the fucking mud and I’m here for all of it. I want to marry this news anchor.
Was Rachel Gunn’s Olympic break dancing performance really that bad? The only positive thing I can say about it is that at least she didn’t hurl herself out of a window and impale herself on an iron fence.
POSTSCRIPT: the horror that is Death Wish 2 is currently streaming on Max. I tried to watch it in full for this post but good lord is it horrible in so many ways. I had to tap out about 20 minutes in. Maybe it would have been more appealing if they had titled it Death Wish 2: Electric Boogaloo.
